All Relatives

Another mental model which transforms our perception comes from Buddhism, we’ll call it All Relatives. It goes like this:

A being who has not been your mother at one time in the past is not easy to find… A being who has not been your father… your brother… your sister… your son… your daughter at one time in the past is not easy to find.

From the Matt Sutta: Mother

To understand this we have to first accept an infinite series of rebirths, which I can appreciate may be a stretch for many people. in Buddhist philosophy death is just one stage in a cycle that proceeds rebirth. We may be reborn with strikingly different circumstances, as human or animal (or even an otherworldly being). This process has been running for such an immensely long time that, as our mental model suggests, we have all been, in one of those lives, closely related. Close enough that we lived & supported each other. This includes even the worst person in your life. The person who you now despise most was at one time the person who you loved as your mother.

Stages of your relationship with a recipient

Do you really need to have empathy. There is a lot that we can already do?

Acknowledge (that you have one if you do)

Generalise (the properties that describe them)

Position (in the location & time in which whey will receive your transmission)

Reveal (their real desires, stated or not)

Identify hurdles (access because of paywalls, time, exclusion, etc. or knowledge because of experience or field)

Define your message

Empathy - get emotional

Compassion