Best, Always

The best, always mental model is one that I have found helpful in being compassionate towards others, especially in being patient, respectful and understanding with people in difficult or unpleasant situations. The model is simple, and iIt goes like this: we are, always, the best person we can be.

What this means is that at any given time, in any given situation, for any given activity, we are all doing the best we can muster. Sometimes it’s really not very much, but that is still — by definition — the best we can give of ourselves given the circumstances.

This does not mean we accept cruelty and poor behavior. But we accept that, sometimes, we all act inappropriately or cruelly, arrogantly, selfishly, and so on. Whether we want to admit it or not, we were the ones that performed those actions and that was really the best we could’ve done at the time.

It’s also not to say that we can excuse these actions because we don’t have control over them. We do have control over our behavior, it takes a lot of effort but it’s possible.

It’s also not to blame people for not having control over their actions or who have not been thoughtful in what they said.

By realizing that the person present at that time was really the best thing that they could’ve done is to also begin to forgive them and except that everybody changes.